Tag Archives: that’s just wrong

I Wanna Know

Someone recently very kindly pointed out to me that blogs occasionally contain some personal information about the author and their daily lives. This voyeuristic quality apparently makes it fun to quietly watch them go about their business while getting a peek into their brain.

This of course was a nice but passive aggressive way to let me know that me and my life are not at all present in the things I write.

Sure, occasionally I like to fume over the mindless jaywalker who stepped into oncoming traffic while I was on the road or reveal the horrifying incident at the Chipotle that took place only hours after my young son learned that ladies did in fact have vaginas instead of wieners but for the most part I leave my day-to-day happenings at the doormat when I step over the WordPress threshold.

After so many years of working diligently to not be vulnerable, needy or a pain in somebody elses ass, I’d almost forgotten how brilliant it is to see a person write something stripped down and bare enough that it makes them look completely human.

I’m not exactly sure when vulnerability and truth fell so out of fashion in my mind but there are days when all this autonomous droning about impersonal subjects and flaunting my “independence” gets tedious.

To exert so much energy in opposition to what I really feel at times is exhausting. It’s a struggle that results in exactly what I don’t want.

More isolation.Less warmth.

Since I am slow to absorb the most basic changes in routine, I’ll need to marinate in this sea of change for a few hours before I can produce a worthwhile post on the terrible new development of vagrants shitting in my garage.

Seriously. It’s either a guy without access to indoor plumbing, an urban Yeti or a bear that’s escaped from the zoo.

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23 Comments

Filed under a screw loose, adversity, am I doing anything right?, Back to basics, bad writing about nothing, buffoonery, crap shack, crazy ramblings, do this for me, do you really have the time to read about my life, don't destroy my dreams, don't take a crap in my garage please, excuses, foul language in preschool, getting it together, good smells bad smells, hidden grammar errors and bad writing, hole in my life, I can't spell, I can't end a story OR a blog post, I complain too much, I enjoy being inferior, i like to pretend, I need to get an original thought, I run fast, i said it was uncategorizable, I'm a hack, I'm a jerk!, I'm all over the map, make it more personal

H.O.T. Spells Hot.

Me: Hi honey, how was school today?
ID: Good
Me: What did you guys do?
ID: We drew and went to computers and wrote about things we wear when it’s cold out.
Me: Wow, that sounds great.
ID: (out of nowhere) Mom, I kissed Anne Stuart today.
Me: (whirling around to face him) Huh?
ID: I kissed her right on the face and then on my worksheet I spelled the word “hot”.
Me: Huh? Why hot?
ID: Because Anne Stuart is hot, and she’s my new girlfriend so I learned to spell it for her. Then I showed her.
Me: What did she say? Wait, back up, who told you about girls being hot?
ID: The TV people, and E & G (siblings)
Me: Honey, girls don’t like the word hot, they like to be called “pretty” or “special”. Well maybe not special but you need to find nicer words for them if you want them to like you back.
ID: She liked when I called her hot, and she liked the kiss.
*Long awkward silence*
Me: So, do you want to go to McDonald’s?

Note: Although it would be incredibly fitting I am not referring to the emperor as “ID”. It’s just short for Il Duce.

4 Comments

Filed under 1, bad parenting, big mouths and sinking ships, boys with serious attitude, four year old love, how to spell hot, please don't kiss girls, tiny romeos