This Sunday I had myself a true Judas Iscariot moment.
I denied knowing my own children at the grocery store.
Then I stopped after reading that last line and asked myself “Hey girl who spent her whole life chained to a pew in parochial school! WHO was it now that denied Jesus three times?” “Why YES you moron that would be Peter.”
Judas sounds so much more theatrical though, so I’m keeping it even thought it is not historically accurate.
While waiting patiently in the checkout line my two boys began to act a little squirrely.
They were redirected to the front of the store near the exits brought there by my beleaguered mother who was lacking her usual sharp tongue and was hanging there like a limp dishrag due to a debilitating migraine.
This means that the boys were running in circles, screaming about having a girlfriend, punching each other, jumping off the bench my mother was passing out on, smashing the video machine with the dollar rentals and accosting the automatic lotto dispenser.
Two über uptight couples with pursed thin lips were starting to shake their heads in disbelief and exchanging disgusted looks with each other at the volume and sheer audacity of the two unruly boys and their comatose caretaker.
“So rude and disrespectful” noted one.
“Why isn’t she doing anything to control them?” asked the other.
Then Il Duce let loose with a rank profanity followed by a roaring hysterical cackle and I watched them gasp with horror.
They were truly disgusted.
“CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!” they croaked, looking at me.
I thought for a moment. There were thousands of ways I could go here but I opted for betrayal.
“I know!” I commiserated, as I lugged the rest of my fresh produce onto the belt.
I didn’t feel nearly as bad as I know I should have but it was just so much easier to cut and run regarding knowing this lot than to try to explain them to someone who wouldn’t care.
After scooping my mother up off the bench and driving her back home so she could suffer her mind exploding agony alone on her couch I spoke briefly to the boys about minding their behavior in public. But my pleas fell on deaf ears as they were both fast asleep in the back.