Tag Archives: bad parenting

The Curtains Fell, My Dog Died and My Daughter Got Bell’s Palsy

Despite what you may have heard, the rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

That does NOT mean however that things are going swimmingly over here, in fact we are a fucking mess. And that is putting it mildly.

We’ve been blasted with furious hammer blows from the bad luck mallet.

First, I managed to enter the bad parenting Guinness book after joking with my child that she should stop making that silly face because she looks like she’s got Bell’s Palsy.

 Well guess what?!

She actually does.

Yeah, I know, I know. Good job!

Anyway, we got an extra special surprise when we were informed that we would have to go to neurologists who never have any available appointments and specialists and people who like to stick big needles in your arm to suck out all of your available blood, blah blah blah.

THEN just as we were coming out of that bend in the road our massive, powerful full of life dog just up and died, right out of the blue.
This creature, who had been moving like a freight train hours before he was felled, crumpled in a lifeless heap and stopped responding.

We are destroyed.

Was this dog a huge pain in the ass?

Yes.

Did he knock over children, adults, furniture and lamps?

Yes.

Still, he was gorgeous and sweet and loyal and we miss him horribly.

Sure I know that things like this happen and that we need to keep on keepin on but I find myself without anything silly or bizarre to say to you today.

So I will sum up by telling you that my daughter is on the mend and seems to have none of the terrifying things we imagined might be causing her facial paralysis (phew) and showing you a photo of my slobbery fool of a doggy.

Woof:(

See ya big fella, you will be missed:(

Advertisements

30 Comments

Filed under adversity, I'm a bad parent, my poor dog, not a good week

Starts With B, Rhymes With Witch

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

What do you get when one and three go to war? Lot’s of flying fists, hurt feelings and exhausted referees.
 

Into every new year a little profanity must fall and who better to give it to you than Il Duce? The shock value of naughty words spilling forth from tiny lips never lessens, but  even I drew a sharp breath upon hearing his newly acquired profane utterance. 

If you want an extreme reaction, make sure to call me a bitch. 

If you want to make me cry watch my five-year old learn and use that word. 

Number one and number three are forces of nature that suck the air out of every room they enter creating a vacuum that few escape. Sandwiched between these two is my gentle sweet heart who has learned to weather the storm and keep his head down. 

Powerful personalities battle it out over Tokyo

Today I listened to all three call each other that word and waited for the piss poor parenting paddy wagon to pull up and cart me off. 

Good work mom. 

One too many viewings of the housewives of whatever county happen to be on and the word became legend over here where potty mouth is far too prevalent and three bars of lye soap are in demand now. 

Little assholes.

11 Comments

Filed under 1, am I doing anything right?, assholes, Bad cable shows, bad catholics, bad parenting, behavior problems in kids, buffoonery, crazy ramblings, discipline, kids and parenting, kids that like cursewords, parenting, parenting badly, please let him grow up to be normal