Tag Archives: adhd

Bends Over Backwards So You Don’t Have To

Like most people, I prefer it when everything runs smoothly.


That is why, if we were  expressing this moment in interpretive dance, you’d see a small ineffective waif clinging to what remains of the status quo while angry imps, representing chaos and bad choices, hit her with mean words and dust mops embroidered with the word “WRONG”.


Those of us still plagued by old school ideas about raising and educating our kids consider them a set of guidelines that while sometimes suffocating are still better than any sort of idea we might come up with ourselves. They’re a necessary evil, and we tell our kids to buck up and get with the program so that the life machine can swallow them up a little easier when the school system spits them out the other side. And for a while, that worked here in our house as well.


Enter, the dragon. Or more specifically my third child. No core curriculum could interest him. No seat was big enough to contain his energy and more tragically no teacher could tame him enough to make him fit the confines of a classroom. At age four a preschool teacher deemed him “unteachable” and “a danger” and recommended an army of specialists with long lists of credentials. He confounded them all.  People who shouted loudly and forcefully to discipline him harder had no real understanding of what they were dealing with, and made an already strained situation worse with their frustration. In the middle of all this frenetic grasping at straws and last chances up in smoke stood the kid who was the reason for it all, looking at all of us as if we were already dead but just too stupid to fall over.

Cut to six years later, all the educational buffoons and braying donkeys were wrong. The small boy, about whom someone once remarked “he’ll either burn down the world or rule it with an iron fist” is a thriving, intelligent, kindhearted person with limitless possibilities. I used to struggle with the upsettingly tremendous sense of burden I carried with me when making decisions about how to proceed academically, personally and parentally (not a word? FU spellcheck) with my third kid, but now the sigh of relief you hear is deafening. The endless disciplinary hearings and terrifying diagnoses that made up so much of my nightmare fuel back then are distant memories. They’ve been replaced by the pounding elegance and delicate savagery of a boy who made his own way, despite every odd being stacked against him, with sharpened wits and a broad field of vision that enables him to see where he’s going and how he’s going to get there.

I dare say, he’s my boldest creation.

So if you find yourself mired in a pit of parental despair, surrounded by angry “specialists” that just charged you ten thousand dollars for the pleasure of sitting down and discussing the somewhat questionable neuro/psych/edu. test results they got, and what it all means for your poor kids future, remember that from the ashes of this complete and utter bullshit can sometimes rise a little phoenix – and keep ahold of that while you take a deep breath.



Filed under 2015 is the new 2013, am I doing anything right?, average is so much easier, back to regularly scheduled programming, I'm back bitches, kids with issues

ADHD Playlist

Finally, I’ve written a post that I find so unappealing and abhorrent that I’m being forced to post again less than one hour later to cover up my shame.

What else can I do?

Today’s second installment contains some of my youngest sons favorite songs.

The same child who inspired the description “he’ll either rule the world or watch it burn after setting it ablaze”


He’s got interesting taste.


Filed under songs my kid likes, this post is a cover up

Superpower Summit

Hey, at least my kid didn't destroy Tokyo....yet

Well ladies and gentlemen, yesterday all the players converged in one small conference room with all their thick reports and strange customs to talk about the big issue. Il Duce.
What this boiled down to was lots of advice, tons of useless jibber jabber, and ultimately, a woman wearing an honest to god Kate Gosselin coif telling me my son was the antichrist.
Because I was having a hard time not being distracted by her hair (did she ask for that cut on purpose?) I began to wonder if some of my sons attention issues were inherited directly from me. 

The list of infractions was long but not suprising including things like stopping others at the threshold and screaming “no  ticket, no entry” and “I am an Imperial Guard, you may not pass”.  They did however confirm some of the sensory and executive function issues we had pretty much known about for ages and  made some useful suggestions for OT and behavior modification. 

Honestly, I preferred the  warm less abrasive style of the nice lady that looked like my aunt Marion so I was  leaning a little bit more toward her rather than the “shock and awe” approach of Kate Gosselin who gave a jarring stream of conciousness tirade of “ten minutes in the life” where she never failed to show her disdain for the tiny classroom monarch. When we asked if she, as a behaviorist, would help train a shadow to assist in the classroom she immediately talked about how she was “far too busy”. 

They ended the session with a shameless book plug (yes, these two penned a book and they mentioned that it was on sale at Amazon!) and a handshake while we were left to sort through two massive reports, an endless list of specialists (none of whom, I found, are taking any new patients) and the cold sweats about the effect this is going to have on our bank account. 

Now comes the long expensive road toward getting this kid the RIGHT kind of help.


Filed under 1, adhd, can I have a normal day, executive function, meeting with the big guns, meetings and bad news, reasons why I need a vacation, your kid is superbad