14 responses to “Broad Spectrum : Waterproof, Non- Greasy, Moisturizing, Great For Blinding Enemies

  1. Tom G.

    and THAT is why WordPress keeps giving you a monocle.

    • Dufmanno

      I look like a Twin Peaks character. Did log lady have an eye patch? Why does no one in real life tell me I make faces like this?

      • Tom G.

        What the? What did wordpress do to your gravatar? You’ve gone from Monocle wearing diamond, to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

        • dufmanno

          WordPress has freaked out in a way that makes me very uncomfortable. First I couldn’t comment on a bunch of blogs and then I got emails telling me people were having trouble commenting on mine.
          Note to self- never anger WordPress.

  2. WordPress has forced everyone to log in before they can make a comment. Something I find VERY irritating for I used to sometimes comment via my mobile and now I cannot for it’s too fiddly to log into my blog…but I digress.

    Anyway, this sounded extremely painful, but the eye patch looks good. You need a parrot on the shoulder though arrrrr

    • Dufmanno

      The eyepatch wasn’t the cutting edge fashion breakthrough I was hoping it would be. I was told the in order to be a true badass, one needed to have lost one’s eye in some sort of spectacular fashion.
      I was labeled a poser and dismissed.
      Anyway, wordpress is pulling some sort of big brother type shenanigans where it’s flexing its muscles in a show of strength.
      Like the recenty deceased Kim Jong Il

  3. That happens to me every time I wear mascara. I end up looking like Tammy Faye by the end of the day. Stupid trying to look like an adult.

    And you should have borrow a parrot. That would have completed the look.

    • dufmanno

      Since this mishap I have had a perpetually watering eye. It’s almost as if the universe is trying to tell me something and I cannot interpret it’s wishes.

  4. and why do cosmetic companies keep putting this shit in eye creams! nothing makes me look older than a red puffy eye after being fried and scarred from hint of sunscreen.

    • dufmanno

      You know why it’s so tragic? Everyone wants to smell like they’ve been greased up by a cabana boy while sipping a pina colada and cooking in the hot sun. The only way to get that authentic aroma is Hawaiian Tropic and a tinfoil blanket.

  5. Well. gotta say you look hot with that thing on…

  6. I think you look fantastic as Cpt. jack Sparrow’s First Mate.

    (sidenote: at least you didn’t have a pesky yeast infection that day.)
    Eeewww, yeah, I went there. 😉

  7. I came across this blog post randomly, but I feel compelled to share my own painful story of when not sunscreen, but an evil soap dispenser, blinded me the same way. It was a plastic bottle of hand-soap with a pump, the typical kind. But at some point the hole where the soap comes out had gotten little clogged, and when my unsuspecting hand pressed down on the pump, it sent the soap on an arching trajectory that literally went STRAIGHT INTO my eye. The next 30 minutes were spent pouring water over my eye, trying to stop the agonizing burn. Maybe this was karma for whatever sins I’d committed that week. I told my boyfriend who laughed hysterically and said he wished it’d been caught on video. I did too actually, then at least I could say it happened for a reason- so that thousands of people could have another Youtube vid to laugh at.

    • Dufmanno

      I actually did myself in with plain old Pert 2 In 1 shampoo with conditioner the other day. I am now convinced that it contains sulfuric acid.

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