Year On Fire

Man, I am freaking fired up for 2012.

And it’s not that pseudo enthusiasm for a fresh start that so often starts out volcanic but then sputters out after a day or two of manic high episodes and good cheer , ending with you rolling around in a shallow pool of bottomed out depressive juices.

No.

This is genuine, real and powerful.

Nevermind that you’ll all be over here fishing me out of the pity swamp of quickly spent positive force in a day or so when I have my final flash bang and then collapse!

Listen to me now! While I’ve still got a hold of the prize!

Today I made some amazing discoveries about the year to come during a long commute when I normally turn off four of my basic senses and keep the ability to see running at a low rumble to ward off fatal accidents and to make key turns enabling me to get to my destination.

Normally I’d just pass shit like this right on by, maybe making a subconscious mental note to myself that turkey vultures ripping apart a carcass on the side of the road remind me of dark extinguished phoenixes dispatched from hell to eat the entrails of the dead or that the rolled up mattress on the median looks suspiciously like the final resting place of a serial killers victim – BUT NOT TODAY!

Through the lenses of my “this could change everything” spectacles I saw things anew and my eyes remained wide open taking in EVERYTHING. Even things that don’t even matter or are completely uninteresting to other members of the human race.

Still, I felt compelled to share them with you. You are welcome.

Making a right onto 16th Street I was stunned to see a tall, bold looking man in a trench coat singlehandedly bringing back the wool fedora while striding with purpose toward some important place.

How do I know it was important?

 Because no one who can channel Indiana Jones, the entire cast of The Godfather and to a lesser degree Duran Duran’s John Taylor, would be doing anything less. He was on a mission to make me understand that there was no good reason for this trend to have EVER gone out of style.  Men in hats.

You WILL wear a hat. Ripped sleeve & angry eyes optional.

 The school where I drop my youngest off in the morning is in a distant land right smack in the middle of horse country. They gallop freely around their paddocks while their owners toil in fields and mow their expansive lawns with tractors that dwarf my minivan. Today as I rolled out of the long winding path to the main road I caught sight of a girl, no more than seven or eight, with her mother feeding a gorgeous chocolate-brown foal out of a bucket. They both sported what looked like the worlds most comfortable overalls.

Yes, I know I abused my GAP overalls and used them in lieu of real clothes for the better part of seven years. They went from fun, to sensible ,to maternity wear, to post baby chub cover ups, to easy to unbutton for breastfeeding, to I just give up on fashion and good taste. I understand that they had to be burned, but could I just get one more pair so I can saunter out in the morning light with my bucket and feed someones elses horse?

In my mind, this is how I THINK I look in my overalls. Reality paints a different picture.

 A sign heralding the demise of Kim Jong Il.

People put some crazy shit out in front of their houses these days but this banner really peaked my interest and got me thinking.

You know what?

No.

No , communist hating, hand crafted sign painters.

Yes , my  favorite pint-sized beloved leader has died, but don’t you see?

The world NEEDS most excellent, hand clasping, over the top villans! What fun is a world with no unhinged crazy people in positions of power? Where is the evil we need to band together to vanquish?

Without evil doers we’d all get weary and aimless and start hitting and biting each other like bored siblings in the back of  a minivan with no air conditioning and limited access to the built-in entertainment system. *(seriously, two screens, headphones, surround sound and remote controls).

It’s like Batman minus his Joker, Spiderman with no Green Goblin and Godzilla with no Tokyo Bay. Why would you want that? It’s like you want to kick the balance of the natural world in the teeth.

21 Gun Salute! March In Formation! I'm dead but I'm still crazy!

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16 Comments

Filed under horses, It's better to notice stuff than to be unconcious, kim jong il, new years shoot flames, overalls hats horses and dictators, supervillans, things I see on the highway

16 responses to “Year On Fire

  1. Whadya reckon Kimmy is rockin’ a pair of overalls in hell?

    • dufmanno

      I bet as soon as he got out of that well tailored military garb he found a comfortable distressed pair in his locker. There is also the hope that the underworld Lens Crafters was able to update the frames for his glasses.

  2. Tom G.

    I think Fedoras would never have gone out of style if they had accessorized them with machetes.

    I miss Kim already. Baby Jong Il just doesn’t hold the same level of bat shit crazy evilness. He’s like the son of Godzilla. Maybe he blows little smoke rings.

  3. michael freeman

    Fedoras are coming back?…I really coulda used that post, pre-plugs….let me know if you see anything on the horizon for men under 5″8″ or guys who still eat Count Chocula…

    • Dufmanno

      The dude with the fedora had a shaved head. I know this because I watched him intently while stopped at the freaking ENDLESS red light near V Street.
      He reminded me of a less terrifyingly severe Midnight Oil frontman circa 1986(?)

      • Dufmanno

        Also, you act is if eating Count Chocula counts as a character flaw. This couldn’t be further from the truth. What were the other ones? Frankenberry and BooBerry I think? The latter turned your milk bright blue. Healthy!

  4. I WANT MY OVERALLS BACK! I’m telling you , I lose 15 pounds and it is bib city, lady.

  5. macdougalstreetbaby

    Did you happen to notice if there was a quail feather on the hat? That’s the kind of attention to detail we need to get back to.

    • macdougalstreetbaby

      Did you know you were my first blogging friend? That just warms the cockles of my heart. I would have e-mailed you but I don’t have your address. When you get a chance, come by my place and pick up “The Versatile Blogger’s Award.” I don’t know what it means but it’s bright and cheery and will make you the envy of all your friends. I usually don’t do these kinds of things but I was backed into a corner.

    • Actually this is a detail I looked for so I can say with absolute certainty that there were no feathers on that hat.
      I STILL don’t understand why men wore this fashion accessory for so long and then stopped so abruptly!

  6. I loved Fedora’s until I had a business partner that wore his paired with neckties over golf shirts. Personal style fail!

  7. Okay…I’m overwhelmed because people have mentioned Godzilla AND Mothra in the comments…and wow.. *Takes deep breath*

    I *LOVE* Mothra and all those Japanese monsters that were so “realistic” you could never imagine it was some bloke in a suit…

    er…where was I?

    Oh yeah, the North Korea dead dude…King Kong…or something. North Korea has got to be the GRUMPIEST most bad tempered country. You think they’re given misery pills at breakfast? Okay, we’re a miserable bunch too, but at least we’re more polite about it. *sips tea*

    Lastly, I love Fedoras, but only when the bloke looks like Indy…on a fat ugly bloke…not so much…

    P.S Maybe you saw the bloke from Midnight Oil, then again, isn’t he a politician now?

    I need to go lie down, this post made me hyper….

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