I Don’t Know What To Do With This Anger

Dog.

I’m having trouble expressing my anger over what I consider to be your blatant refusal to stop pissing and crapping on my carpet.

Yes, I’m aware that some of the blame lies with me and that while I should be out taking you for a much deserved walk I am instead in here drawing on my computer and banging out this post but lets not forget that it’s not my waste soaking into our beloved rug.

I find myself suffering from latent waves of guilt over the death of your good friend Grover and I am unwilling to discipline you in a manner that might crush your fragile psyche so here is my passive aggressive attempt to put my feelings in order.

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25 Comments

Filed under dogs, I'm uncomfortable disciplining you, My dog likes to poop inside, this says more about me than it does about you, wait the door is open why did you do this

25 responses to “I Don’t Know What To Do With This Anger

  1. Your artistry is quite moving. No really. I think my colon is finally starting to react.

    • My dog has been making sad eyes at me since I put this up making me feel guilty. But then yesterday she squatted boldly and pissed on my hardwoods in a retaliatory manner that made me think she can read.

  2. Damn. There goes THAT rug.

  3. It appears that your dog secretes vanishing waste, cause that rug is totally gone.

    All I see are wood floors.

    • This photo was taken during happier times. And by that I mean a day that she didn’t let loose on any rugs or furniture. She just happens to be standing at the one place in our house without floor coverings. Or we can just go with your story and pretend she urinates vanishing liquid because that is actually more fun.

  4. dbs

    I told my kids they could get pets if they chose ones that did not poop. That was my criteria. We have a rabbit & a hamster. Both those bastards poop. But at least they poop in a confined area. Yup, sadly, that’s as good as it gets.

  5. bwhahahaha! you made dog a vampire bat. that’s classic.

  6. Tom G.

    Maggie has peed on our bed twice in the last 6 months.

    Thankfully, we found it before it soaked through the comforter, sheets, and mattress cover.

    Even more thankfully, Maggie is our dog, not our daughter.

  7. Looks like HellBoy. So kind of hot!

    (Oh god. I have issues don’t I?)

    • I think it must be the animal magnetism of Ron Perlman not the red face and horns that peaks your interest? And I know for a fact you don’t have issues so don’t fret.

  8. Demonic pooch huh? Aren’t they all? (no wait, that’s cats…they’re like little furry demons)

    • I like both cats AND dogs but found that my experience with one crazed kitty from my youth prevented me from bringing one home for my kids. Otherwise I’m a total sucker for any animal.

  9. The roommate and I cat-sitted a cat and as a thank you it had cat diarrhea all over my laundry basket.

    I don’t hate animals. But I was real close with that one.

    • Thinking back I’m pretty sure I’ve had this experience. If I remember correctly the smell and the extensive cleaning ritual afterward was enough to put me over the edge.

  10. This picture is actually quite educational. I had always assumed a helldogs horns and wings would match it’s natural coloring. It is quite fascinating to see that, in fact, they will be bright red, regardless of the natural tonation of the animal. Also, spray it with Holy Water everytime it does it. I’m thinking that should work, no?

    • All demons and hellhounds sport bright red extras. Imps and those working the service elevator to the second floor of the third circle tend to have a deep burgandy hue. It looks lovely by the light of the firepit where they cast damned souls!

  11. macdougalstreetbaby

    I used to feel exactly the same with my kids. I can tell you screaming and throwing objects around in a furiously futile attempt at being listened to did not help at all. Your approach is so much more civilized, not to mention creative.

    • I’m having to watch her like a hawk now though because she hates the rain and prefers to come in and pee on a nice dry floor. My days of being civilized are coming to an end.

  12. Loveit. Can you do the same thing with a picture of a collie? Did I tell you my dog came very close to burning down the house, on top of her chronic shitting, lunch eating and underwear licking?

  13. Ehh.. we need a designer on our department.. Are you inn?
    hahaha!!

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