There can be only one!
Sometimes I imagine myself as the bone chilling Kurgan from Highlander with a blistering soundtrack by Queen erupting from the surround sound in my Dodge Caravan as I yell about what a master of the universe I am while smashing my foot down on the gas pedal to get the lone spot faster than her.
I started arriving earlier and earlier for pickup to guarantee that I would be victorious but then suddenly she was on to me and she would dominate by coming a full two hours prior to do the grocery shopping for a double productivity whammy.
I used to feel bad because she had five kids to pick up in comparison to my relatively paltry three offspring but that guilt evaporated when I stopped to think about the fact that she gets PAID to do this because she’s a nanny and I’m just a breeder with bad hygiene and a penchant for being on time.
So when I loaded up and drove over to the school to stake my claim midday I watched for her dark blue vehicle of deception and skullduggery.
She took a loooongg slllooowww lap of capitulation around the lot before looking at me with a mix of defeat and respect.
This one is for you space hog.
See what happens when you take what I want?
I erase all the plans for that day and make it my mission to sit my fat ass in the space you’ve got designs on. It’s mine.
You can pant and get as red in the face as you would like carrying those groceries up the hill while gazing over with equal parts anger and sadness. You should have driven into the grocery store lot instead of coming over here.