Sometimes there are no words.
I have had four weeks of agonizing over every detail having to do with the confirmation reception taking place at my kid’s school this weekend.
Nevermind that I don’t even HAVE a child being “confirmed” during this Catholic hazing and indoctrination ritual where you promise to become a “soldier” of Christ and take a bat shit crazy second middle name to add to the impressive length and importance of your probably already heavily laden moniker.
You become like catholic rock star royalty but without swords or any real abilities or importance.
In other words another reason to hold a ceremony followed by cake.
Then I was told I would have to procure balloons in the colors of the holy spirit so I had to send out an SOS email to a group of people holier than me apologizing for not knowing this right off the bat after 12 years of Catholic education.
Who the hell looks at the holy spirit? Doesn’t gazing upon something like that cause your eyes to spring from their sockets in flames anyway.
Who would want to talk about the colors of the damned dove that flew by with licks of phoenix like fire emanating from his super awesomeness after being maimed like that?
I ,for one, certainly would be keeping my mouth shut.
Anyway, someone took mercy on me and explained the color scheme for the evening after I got many and varied descriptions of what it should look like.
My last hurdle to vault over for this event will be the fucking cake and since words are failing me I will let you have a look at what’s out there.
Holy spirit pleased with reception color scheme.
Displeased Holy spirit.