I’ve just been bit in the aft end with the realization that my morning bore a stark and terrifying resemblance to my weekends in college where I woke up in a haze, was missing my phone and couldn’t find my underwear so was forced to pull on my jeans and go commando before stumbling out the door.
In the Hollywood version of this story, I would have stepped back into my dorm room and awoken my roommate, played by 80’s sweetheart Molly Ringwald, and had her help me piece my evening back together to ascertain whether I had done something John Hughes worthy during the night.
Truth is I spent the morning throwing together a hodge podge collection of half destroyed clothing from the dirty laundry hamper crying about the loss of my Iphone and wondering if someone threw out all my undergarments.
Many things are happening this Monday one of which is this little gem over at 20Prospect. If you’ve ever wondered what type of unhinged perversion and off kilter maniacs that the stifling repression of Catholic education produces take a look at each and every one of my friends and now my own kids. Listen to this classic I got hit with last night.
Daughter: Mom, do your private parts burn off if you have sex before marriage?
Mother: Wow, where did you hear that? (stifling laughter)
Daughter: Well, the Catholic church teaches no sex before marriage so does that mean that they burn off?
Mother: You bet they do. I heard it REALLY hurts.
Catholic school, turning out warped and misinformed children since the dawn of time.
Anyway, moving on.
My strategy this morning is to point you in the direction of things happening elsewhere so here is the second half of my talk with THE Corey Feldman at Culture Brats. Props to the dedicated and talented Archphoenix who did all the work and probably should be handed some sort of award for patience, since my interviewing and editing skills could probably use some polishing.
Now I’m off to work on yet another revision of what was a bit about three clubs in the U Street corridor that fell flat and was then nearly done for when a series of three murders closed off the street for the better part of three weeks wrapping the subject of my piece in perpetual police crime tape.
Try to enjoy your Monday.
Beautiful missing Iphone photo courtesy of AppleInsider