Have you ever found yourself in possession of a bizarre nugget of information that defies categorization?
What if this oddly intriguing but toe curling bit came to you by the most covert and bizarre means imaginable?
Say for instance that some unknowing soul had the misfortune of sitting on their phone and butt dialing you while information clearly not intended for your ears filtered through the receiver, unbeknownst to the person whose ass had just helped you become privy to some of their darkest secrets.
Do you keep listening?
What do you do with all this naughty juicyness?
Since you are essentially a fly on the wall in this case scenario and by no means meant to hear these words do you act on them?
Pretend they don’t exist?
What if they shift the axis of the earth you know so well?
What if this person was never what they seemed?
This opens up a whole new set of windows into a dimension previously unexplored by you, the voyeur.
Now that you are in on the secret can you quietly smile to yourself when you want to yell out everything you’ve heard in a cathartic release?
To be honest I’ve been the recipient of many drunk dials, and riveting phone conversations during my short life so not much on the other end of the receiver is shocking to me anymore, but wow.
Talk about a surprise.
It’s like when I found out after several years of suspicion that my husband was an ass man and NOT a boob guy as previously thought.
Do you know how devastating it is to spend countless hours employing preventive measures to counter gravity only to find out you should have worked hard on your buttocks instead of your ta ta’s? Not that is was all for naught, as I still get the occasional appreciative perusal of my less than impressive rack, but still.
I get more applause coming than I do going.
Anyway, with each dawning day I learn something new and with that revelation I will be heading into the kitchen to make myself a generous helping of Ben & Jerry’s Vanilla Caramel Fudge ice cream while letting go of the dream of a firm taught behind.