A Girl Really Should Know Her Limitations

I would like to say that my recent meager output was due to an excessively satisfying personal and professional life that left no time for writing this drivel but that would leave out the part where every event sidled right up and sucked balls for the better part of five days.

As a matter of fact since we are being so candid here I’d venture a guess that I’m very close to some sort of midlife existential crisis that needs tending to except  I’m more than likely to let it fester and rot before springing into anything that even remotely resembles action.

If you see me flailing around your neighborhood wearing an overcoat and thermal underwear in the unseasonably warm weather be kind to me and don’t throw things because I’ll probably be back to normal in three to five days and I bruise easily.

Plus you don’t want to explain to put together, capable me that in a fit of distemper you mistook your friend for an unhinged vagrant and tossed potentially lethal projectiles at her. That just makes YOU look like a huge asshole.

Not nice.

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20 Comments

Filed under a post that should have been a comment, adversity, bad writing about nothing, drivel, getting it together, weird posts

20 responses to “A Girl Really Should Know Her Limitations

  1. What if we gently roll bottles of wine? Would that be more appropriate?

  2. should two unhinged vagrants visit one another? i think YES! and we should go see some live music. for example, liz phair. it would be healing. or perfectly disruptive and would fuel our midlife existential crises. embrace it all my love.

  3. Tom G.

    There is only one appropriate way to deal with a mid-life existential crisis of this magnitude.

    Road trip.

    …and Bourbon

    OK, there are 2 ways to deal with a mid-life existential crisis of this magnitude.

    Road trip and Bourbon,

    …and a pool boy.

    OK, there are only 3 ways to deal with a mid-life existential crisis of this magnitude…

    • dufmanno

      This sounds a lot like your trip to Scotland minus the poolboy. Or not, if you like poolboys.
      Anyway, why aren’t you drunk in some filthy hovel somewhere in a back alley?

      • Tom G.

        Why are there never any pool girls? That’s what I want to know.

        My neck is still stiff from sleeping on the curb last night, so I’m taking it a little slow this morning.

  4. Agatha82

    Agree with Tom. Especially the bit about the pool boy. He has to be pretty as well heh heh.
    Welcome my world. I’ve suffered way too many mid-life existential crisis. Bourbon is starting to look good and maybe another road trip, except it’s cold here in England and no chance for a pool boy…bugger
    P.S I’d never throw things at you, I’d just join you in your angsty walk 😉

    • dufmanno

      Thanks for not throwing things. I vote for a trip through the American Southwest. Great sunsets and rock formations and lots of open road.

  5. Maybe you should join Mildred in the Hoboken Rehabilitation Center for Wayward Girls. I’m sure I have an extra cone around here somewhere.

    • dufmanno

      Any home for wayward girls gives me terrible flashbacks, except unlike Mildred they didn’t rip out my lady innards. The meds kept me from knowing if they ever made me wear a cone.

  6. Ry Sal

    Okay, well, whilst wandering existential crisis– should you happen upon Sisyphus, tell him the myth is NOT funny. Not funny at all….

    • dufmanno

      I DO like how Camus says the horror of it all requires REVOLT! Hence the aforementioned ill advised road trip! Come along

  7. I am going though some shit also, but I am just nit sure if is some kind of crisis or I am just simply fucked up.
    Either way, I see you running around in thermal unddies, I will get you some really cold bourbon on ice so at least you can cool off 😉

    • dufmanno

      See, that’s what I love about you. Even in the midst of your own crisis you can lift your head above the ether and toss a morbid bitch a cold cocktail.

  8. Tom G.

    OK, it took a few hours, but I am now drunk in a filthy little hovel in a back alley.

    You know? It’s kinda comfy here. Get a plane ticket to Edinburra, and I’ll save you a spot in the gutter.

    • dufmanno

      You continue to impress me with your devotion to the cause. I like the gutter spot that does not also double as a vomitorium come 4 am. Nothing like waking up in a pool of your own sick only to realize you never threw up.

  9. I saw Overcoat + Underwear and then I thought of THAT scene from “An Officer and A Gentleman” and I lost focus. If you show up like that, we will get a white limo. Promise.

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