First Day of Summer!

ahhhhh... summer

This morning I started summer off with the type of surreal activities that Salvador Dali would find impressive.

I awoke, covered in sweat after a fantastically David Lynchesque night packed with dreams where I was giving birth to twins several times over with different results on each attempt (boy boy, girl girl, boy girl, monkey giraffe, etc) and planning parties that were scheduled to take place on the same day at the same hour.

You would think that I’d have lightened up on the social activities during labor.

Then, after waking and beginning my morning routine, I managed to drop my keys in the rock bottom of an outside garbage can completely encrusted in white squirming maggots.

The kind that fill your nightmares.

After tipping the can over and essentially crawling in to retrieve them I cannot shake the sensation that I am now covered with the white flesh-eating menace.

A  full body and key bleach  session later I can still honestly say that passing through several circles of hell would have been easier and more pleasant smelling.

Then my kitchen clock started melting down the wall and dripping onto my floor while a cyclops played the harp and wept.

Okay, I made up that last bit, but still give me a fucking break already.

Now I’m off to rid my car of a weekends worth of wet sandy sticky towels and clothes that resulted from a fantastic Saturday on Gibson Island courtesy of friends of ours that have family there.

Happy first day of summer!!!!!

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16 Comments

Filed under lost keys, maggots, salvador dali, summer, weird dreams where I have twins

16 responses to “First Day of Summer!

  1. Pingback: All Around the World News

  2. dude, the pics were so pleasing. but the visual of you being covered in white squirming maggots has me totally skeeved out. poor baby.

    time for a vodka-soaked watermelon so we can get this summer started!

  3. Dufmanno

    I should have stuck with my photos of the cyclops from Clash of the Titans & one or two of the life cycle of the maggot to really get my point across but I decided on summer fun instead

  4. Ry Sal

    Such lovely pics to be crushed with the thoughts of squirming maggots…. White ones! Comforts me to know that you were on an island somewhere while I hung out in your backyard though… Good times!

    • dufmanno

      I’m still REELING from the sheer joy I experienced finding out that a muppet can be made in my likeness. I’m getting one and using it for Blog Her.
      Next time you are down near DC and not so booked up with family stuff you need to come visit for real and then you can run screaming when you experience the horror of knowing the real me.

  5. Are you sure you didn’t drop some acid before retiring to bed last night?

    You can be honest here. It’s only the INTERNET.

    Hope the rest of your summer is maggot free.

    • dufmanno

      I went to take a peek this morning to see my maggot friends and realized their appearance was due to me throwing out a hunk of old beef that never made it out of the can during weekly pick up.
      90 degree heat + week old rotten meat = nightmare.
      Oh and also, no acid. Don’t cyclops hang out in your kitchen and cry when things go sour?

  6. Angel

    I love your photos, especially the shells. Tiz summer time here too – Yay.

    So glad I am not the only one to have strange dreams. Does your whole body ever jump just as you are dozing off scaring your friends half to death. I am particularly good at that.

    I guess my dream tonight will have something to do with maggots now 🙂

    • dufmanno

      Yes! I always have that violent shudder just as I’m passing over the threshold into sleep . Weird though as it’s usually when I’m exhausted.
      Better to dream about maggots than to actually have to interact with them. Vomit.

  7. I see we come from the same school of dreaming. Damn the subconscious.

    • dufmanno

      We are cursed it seems. Normally I get a celebrity cameo or two as well but my mind was hard at work trying to tell me something besides “put down the People and Us magazines” this time. I just have no idea what.

  8. I spent the first day of summer crying in my office at work trying to finagle ways to make it look like I was working.

    Nothing really worked.

    • dufmanno

      Next time invite Dali and a sad cyclops. I bet Dali makes a great first day of summer cocktail!
      Don’t give any to the cyclops though. Something tells me he is a highly unpredictable drunk and you don’t need that kind of drama at work.

  9. Some of the chunks of phlegm I coughed up today resembled maggots. They weren’t white though. Ew. That last one was really chewy.

    • dufmanno

      Oh man, I’m sorry.
      That….shudder….blech……
      The thought of one of those in my mouth makes me want to curl up in a tiny ball.
      Please stay in bed and rest yourself okay? All that travel you did made ME weary and I didn’t get out of bed once while reading your various escapades.
      I’ll send tissues….

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