O.K. I’ve watched this odd news story for a couple of days and my inner guilt ridden lapsed Catholic schoolgirl self has whispered to just shut up about it.
I’ve decided to ignore her and say something anyway.
So, you’ve all heard of the larger than life papier-mache looking gargantuan butter touchdown Jesus that was struck from above by a bolt of lightning that CLEARLY came right out of the tip of God’s right pointer finger and burned to the ground. Right?
Well, the picture above is what he looked like BEFORE someone in the home office decided to smite him and teach the world a lesson.
Now there is some sort of spectacular debate raging about how quickly he can be rebuilt.
Am I the only fucking one looking down my street listening for the telltale clippity clop of the hooves of the horses carrying the revelation guys and looking for angry winged creatures with battle gear?
If butter Jesus takes a hit THAT direct and BURNS TO THE GROUND does no one else get the feeling that maybe he should stay down? The nuns used to love to tell us that if “HE” doesnt’ like something he generally destroys it with a giant fireball sent from heaven or some sort of bizarre mind game.
Like Anna Wintour from Vogue but with lower heels and more warmth in the eyes.
Now onto the list of things that the big guy upstairs didn’t like.
Sodom and Gomorrah
Looks like it was a lot of fun while it lasted. Sadly it didn’t last very long:(
Babel and it’s super awesome tower
Don’t get so uppity, human population of earth, or I’ll knock down your pretty tower and scatter you throughout the land. Oh and also you’ll all be talking different languages so good luck with that.
Now you can add TD Butter Jesus to that list.
Personally, I thought that statue of the J man flying up out of the water was super cool albeit a tad creepy.
Not as creepy as this though….
This is a crazy huge metal statue that is on the grounds of the Marian Shrine at Don Bosco WHERE THEY USED TO TAKE US FOR MANDITORY RETREATS.
I’m sure you’ll understand why we made sure we were drunk and high before we got on the bus to endure this silent snooze fest where the only entertainment was to pretend the giant metal statue of Mary came alive and used her rosary beads to impale the slow children she was chasing. Remember, we were drunk so no judging us.