Celebrities Save the World (Again!)

This morning I was sipping my coffee reading cnn.com and becoming increasingly concerned ,in my ill-informed and shallow way, about the horrible disaster in the gulf and how it will affect my beach going this year.

“Look at that!” I said to myself watching the live feed of oil continuing to gush into the ocean.

Then I could have sworn I had some sort of hallucination where I saw Kevin Costner walking toward me in a Mr. Rogers sweater bathed in warm light with what remained of his wispy hair blowing in the breeze.

“Kelly” he said. “I have invented a magical machine that will take all the evil crude out of our waters and make all things right again in this world”

“WOW, Kevin Costner” I said “shouldn’t you be wearing your post apocalyptic suit from your career crushing flop Waterworld?”
“NO” cough, cough,

“Anyway, Kelly” Costner continued “this may seem like one of those weird dreams you have where celebrities make cameos and perform menial tasks, but I assure you this is real”

“Kevin Costner, can this magic machine make me ten years younger?”

“You miss the point, foolish girl I’M GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD!”

At this point I tried to wake myself up by repeatedly hitting myself in the face, HARD and then realized that this in fact was NOT a dream.

Kevin Costner has a magic machine that while not able to give you back ten years, can separate oil and water.


Face it people. You can spend endless hours laughing about the time I spend reading TMZ and US Magazine but never underestimate the power and ferocity of a celebrity with a cause and an evil genius brother.



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2 responses to “Celebrities Save the World (Again!)

  1. respect, kevin costner! i take him way more seriously in this business, than i do BP. and he looks all earthy and shit. that’s hawt.

    • dufmanno

      It’s like waking up one morning to find out that Harrison Ford has invented the cure for stupidity and Tim Robbins has found the key to the universe.
      Who fucking knew Kevin Costner and his brother sit around all day in a science lab thinking up machines that make the world awesome?
      Celebrities, you just never know with these guys.
      Either they are drunk and ordering hookers while under surviellance and crashing cars or they are being sainted.

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