I Have a Secret Affliction!

So much to do, so little time.

The bags are sitting next to the door, packed until they were practically bursting, they are threatening to  open up and spill their contents all over the floor.  Gee, I hope that doesn’t happen because soon I will be singing the Interstate Love Song and flying down route 95 south to visit the mouse.

I won't listen to them Mickey. You and Walt have my heart.

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, I am making my traditional trek to Disneyworld with three hopped up super excited children in tow. Most of my highbrow friends think that feeding the maw of the mighty fascist machinery behind the happiest place on earth is galling.

Not me. I’m shallow, immature, and naive so this is a match made in heaven.

While I’m getting a lecture about how I could have used that money to go to Paris the only thing I can hear is a thousand demented  tiny multicultural dolls singing “It’s a small word” and subsequently whispering in my ear “Don’t listen to them, just go to Epcot where they have fake Paris, Germany, Mexico AND china!

Then their eyes start to glow and they break into this chant “One of us!One of us!” but I digress

So you get the point, I’m a total Disney sucker.

Overcharge me, hassle me, make me stand of long lines in the tropical heat. Make me feel good once and I’ll love you forever.



Filed under difficult kids, disasters, disneyworld, road trip

14 responses to “I Have a Secret Affliction!

  1. It’s like we’re soul sisters. I’ve never been on a vacation to anywhere other than Disney World. It’s like my home away from home. I’d much rather ride the Tower of Terror than visit the Eiffel Tower.

    • dufmanno

      You, my friend, understand me.
      I will tell Mickey and Walt you said hello.
      Well, after I pay them thousands of dollars I will.
      When I am screaming and being dropped from an ungodly height on the TOT, I will smile and think of you!

  2. Can you tell me what’s magical about a kingdom that doesn’t serve alcohol? I never leave Epcot. Never.

    • dufmanno

      Ahhh, but I’ve found a hotel on the compound that allows open containers by the pool and serves drinks out of a roll up cart.
      When at the parks I never drink so I can ride every coaster and teacup there is without vomit being involved.

  3. i’m with elly: epcot, epcot, epcot. although i do dig a mad coaster!

    • dufmanno

      I really do love Epcot but it’s got the reputation of the red headed step child of the Disney empire.
      Actually, I take offense at that because my hair is kind of red but whatever.
      I’m going to go to fake Germany and take part in the neverending Octoberfest.

  4. Angel

    I am so with you on this one.

    I have tried the sophisticated approach, stood in a queue, looked at a painting, got bored.

    Then I tried the fun approach, stood in a queue, went on a roller coaster, brain exploded from excitement overload.

    Have fun.

    • dufmanno

      I can’t wait until my brain explodes all over the floor of Rock and Roll rollercoaster.
      T minus seven hours until lift off.

  5. Never. Ever. Been.

    BUT, we’re planning to go this fall!!!

    I *think* I get where you’re coming from, but I have a feeling I don’t know the half of it until I’ve been there.

    • dufmanno

      Wait until you see it.
      It is a little bit insane and overwhelming not to mention expensive but I’m sure you’ll have a great time.
      Just don’t lock yourself in the car for fourteen hours with your mother. That is the real adventure here.

  6. Disney? Yay, Mickey, you’re so fine you blow my mind… Oh wait, it’s Ricky.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Hope you have a great trip. Post pics of Mickey’s ears. Yes? No?

  7. dude. I’m still here at South of the Border… I have all the shot glasses and bad banana jokes, but I’m beginning to think you were just kidding about picking me up???!?

  8. Call me crazy but my kids and I LOVE to visit Paris…

    The drinking age is four.

    The smell of a sweaty Frenchman sans deodorant makes me really horny.

    My husband is a mime and gets paid in baguettes and stinky cheese.

    Have fun with Mickey, but you’re missing out…

  9. Tom G.

    Ah, so many fond Disney memories. From the first trip in 75′ http://20prospect.wordpress.com/2009/07/24/summer-vacation-1975/

    to the BIG SUPER FUN FAMILY TRIP TO DISNEY!!!! in 2008,

    and I can’t forget my Nephews wedding at Disney in 2007. That’s where my Gravatar photo was taken. I am drunk on an ungodly amount of Martini’s and Red Wine, with a Glitter Mickey on my forehead. We were playing “Hidden Mickey” at our table. My Big Sis was placing glitter Mickey’s in her cleavage, and asking the waiters in they could “find the hidden mickey”. Oh Lord, you can take us out of the trailer park, but you can’t take the trailer park out of us.

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