The Re-emergence of the Sex Monkeys and Other Sordid Tales


They’re back!

The Sex Monkeys will rock your world. Break out the lighters, or maybe cell phones now.

After what seems like a ten-year hiatus the Sex Monkeys are playing an exclusive number of dates here in the back toy room.

For those of you unfamiliar with their interesting back story, here is a peak behind the music.

Nice, right?

Anyway, Il Duce broke out his Diego Marsupial bunch for one last cash grab tour after I thought I would never see them again.

Their last single, aptly named “Put in Jail for Kissing” coincided with a certain pre-school shenanigans that started with an innocent crush on another four-year old and commenced with the scandalous “kiss” in question.

You can imagine what his punishment was, correct?

In today’s episode we are clearly seeing something else brewing because we are looking at a  battle  between the Sex Monkey’s and the archetypical superheros.

BAM! PLOW! Be gone wicked monkeys. The hammer of justice will vanquish you!

Can you already analyze the internal conflict here?

I am trying to suppress my primordial urges to be “bad” by using the “good” guys to vanquish them!

That will be one thousand dollars please!

Anyway, lately Il Duce has been peppering us with his warped version of what he thinks “sex” is since viewing ten seconds of a Torchwood episode where an alien disguised as a human gets it on with an innocent guy and then kills him.

It goes like this…

Sex is when a woman sits on a desk and takes off her underwear. Then she makes these weird sounds and they push each other.
All of a sudden the lady turns into a cloud of alien smoke and kills the man. The end.


I got all holier than thou with my poor husband who kept apologetically trying to tell me that in the ten seconds it took him to get to the controls to switch it off ALL of this information was absorbed.

After trying to erase this smut from the grey matter of the tiny monarch I was informed that he would never EVER be able to get it “out of his brain”.

Warped, demented and traumatized.

So anyway, if anyone has a full proof method for the eradication of thousands of cumulative mistakes that result in my poor five-year old being the receptacle of all this wrong information, please drop me a line because aside from letting him work through it with the epic Sex Monkeys vs. Marvel/DC Superheros battle for my soul I’m at a loss.



Filed under epic battles, kids with warped minds, re think what we watch, reasons I spend so much money with specialists, sex monkeys, super heros, touring

4 responses to “The Re-emergence of the Sex Monkeys and Other Sordid Tales

  1. You’re all good, the playground chats he will have in 3rd grade will fix everything. Bwahahaha

    • dufmanno

      He makes my 3rd grader seem positively angelic by comparison. Actually, I take that back.
      My 3rd grader led the facebook sabotage that took place last week, so they are all corrupt.

  2. The internet is for porn. I feel like that’s applicable knowledge. Ta dah.

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