A Trip Through Your Wires

Please turn out normal, please turn out normal.

Sit down, shut up, sit still, stop fidgeting, we will stop the class if you continue making that noise.

We are going to spend so much time and energy trying to break and tame you that we will be too exhausted to take a real look at what you have to offer.

Welcome to the machine.

It’s a big angry monster that takes kids in and molds them and then spits them out ready to take on the menial tasks of everyday life with all the fun, joy and physicality wrung out of them.

Take this pill, it will make you big/small/calm/quiet/ easier to stomach/ invisible.

This one will make you far more palatable for us and this one will take the edge off and deaden those senses a bit just in case you were thinking of making some mischief.

What a waste of that big brain . Why can’t you calm down and show us what you can do?

Let’s rewire you.

OT,PT, behaviorist, shadows, non stop meetings and endless communication with parents. More pills.

Good bye playground hello hard wooden chair and desk.

 Stop daydreaming. What’s so interesting outside that window that you can’t keep your eyes on me?

No I don’t see any figures in those clouds, and neither should you.

This will go down on your permanent record.

You are defective, disruptive and rude.

We cannot deal with you so you must leave.

You can take your pills and shove them up your unimaginative ass.

You can take your hours of mindless worksheets and let the robots fill them out.

You couldn’t interest me less in my permanent record as my paper trail was already a mile long by the time I was three.

Put the quiet twenty-minute circle time feather in your pipe and smoke it.

I may have some issues (hey, who doesn’t?) but they will shake out after some hard work and time.

When I have destroyed  nations and taken over the world I’ll be sure to look you up so I can thank you for not listening to me.

We can walk down memory lane and talk about the trips to the office and the time outs and the fake concern.
Then I’ll blow up your house put you in jail and fulfill every prediction you had for me when I was just small and helpless and wondering how to feel about myself.

Just kidding. I’ll show you that I turned out just fine. My parents worried themselves into an early grave but things are just smashing in my neck of the woods.


Filed under 1, kids, kids that don't fit the mold, parenting badly, please let him grow up to be normal, the blind leading the blind

16 responses to “A Trip Through Your Wires

  1. This is beautiful and haunting and inspiring. As a special ed teacher, the first half of your post is exactly what I am trying to avoid. I apologize on behalf of the teachers who have clearly failed you thus far.

    • dufmanno

      Actually, a few of the teachers have really gone to bat for him. It’s just the knowledge that in the future he will face many people with no idea how to deal with him or others like him.
      I applaud all the VERY hardworking and dedicated teachers who spend a majority of their day making things work.

  2. Aww…beautiful! Coming from a family repeatedly labeled with A.D.H.D. I say thank-you!

  3. Definitely a good article to read. Very well said on the fears part. It is quite normal and a common feeling specially amongst parents.

  4. Angel

    What a wonderful post, you have quite a gift for writing. My sister and her husband have similar concerns as I am sure do most parents.

    The machine you speak of scares me too, we should all spend more time looking at the figures in the clouds and jumping into golden seas.

    • dufmanno

      Gee thanks:)
      I was always a daydreamer but usually got hammered with a ruler while in the middle of a rock and roll fueled pretend case scenario.
      The machine pulled me in and spat me out a little worse for wear but sad to say I’m just one of the sheep now.

  5. Wow, did you mine my subconscious for this? Thankfully, I grew up just before the advent of Ritalin, otherwise I’d be a braindead zombie now too. Whatever happened to the joy of coping mechanisms? Oh yeah, schools are too impatient for them to kick in.


    • dufmanno

      I did mine your subconscious using the power of my Mindflex. It works you know.
      We are working on the coping mechanisms now. I realized I could use a few pointers as well since I’ve not developed any new skills since 4th grade.

      • One thing I learned is that even though teachers thought I wasn’t listening, I was still absorbing the content. Or maybe I was just good at testing. Anyway, I still learned well despite my distraction.

        And do you think I can use my son’s Jedi force trainer to delve into others’ psyches?


  6. *sigh* And then those teachers shuffle through their empty lives and wish that THEY could find the magic in every day things.

    • dufmanno

      I did turn one especially fun teacher on to the sparkly magic of unicorns and directed her to take a look at craftastrophe for life affirming fun.
      Speaking of which, I need a craftastrophe fix…I’m on my way over now.

  7. Pingback: Tweets that mention A Trip Through Your Wires « Dufmanno’s Blog -- Topsy.com

  8. Growing up I had one very cool teacher. I took two classes from him in my senior year and after the first one of the day he would tell me whether I needed to attend the second one. (which was my last) AND he looked like Rick Springfield. Booyah!

    Great post.

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