Hell no, Can You Please Go?

You are blocking the turn lane asshole! Plus I can't even read your protest car.

Umm teabaggers?

Anti war folks?

People who love/hate the heath care bill?

Wackos who like to use home fashioned sandwich signs to tell me the world is going to end if something you don’t like about big government takes place.

People who are deeply upset about the unfair treatment of hairless cats?

This protesting thing has  to stop.

You clog my streets and cross against the signal when I’m trying to get somewhere because you are not from here and you are confused.

That is why I almost wore one of you as a hood ornament today.

I counted seven separate groups of loud people with issues plus the dc marathon yelling things with great volume and pretty picket signs as I wove snake-like through the city streets trying to get to various places this weekend.

This is dangerous because I inevitably slow down to look at the bright colors and angry screaming faces.

Sadly for you, I can’t really see things that far away and the closed windows muffle any chanting you may be doing so as far as I know you could be either be lining up for a gay marriage ceremony or hurling epithets at longstanding venerable Senators and Congressmen.

Road closures mean I can’t get to the store to feed my family or take long Sunday drives to calm my nerves.

This means you are responsible for starving my kids and giving them back a mother who is not what she should be.

Now we are cranky and hungry and we hate you.

I’m going to run down there with a sign and hit you with it.

I’m going to tell you a secret.

No one cares about your impassioned pleas or your angry protests.

Nothing down here ever changes.

It goes like this…..

Democrats win. Republicans win the next time. Democrats win again. Republicans take over right after.

The economy goes up and down and SOMETIMES it stays the same for a little while.

It’s kind of like a natural cycle and if you are in power when the good times are rolling you are super awesome.  If you happen to be the unlucky bastard who’s in office when the bad times come crashing down then you can kiss your ass goodbye.

I don’t think activism is entirely futile but for the most part it’s loud and messy. And yes, I know that we live in a great country that allows us to disagree loudly and engage in thought provoking discussions about our opposite viewpoints and opinions, but I need that parking space that’s on the street you closed off for your march.

So put the markers and posterboard away and go back to your homes.



Filed under 1, I want to see the tidal basin not you, people love to chant, protesters are annoying, that's a really pretty sign, washington dc, why is that street closed?, you sure are angry but we don't care

10 responses to “Hell no, Can You Please Go?

    • dufmanno

      Something tells me if those guys showed up, the protests would be MUCH more fun.
      I think we are going to get hammered now since the whole healthcare thing got a thumbs up last night.
      Oh well.

  1. We Canadians know exactly what you’re talking about. That’s why we make it a general rule to write strongly worded letters when something upsets us, instead of actually going into the outdoors and physically doing something about it. We can even send strongly worded emails from our couch in front of the tv.

    Strongly worded letters, Americans. You can get your point across and still catch Lost.

  2. I’m with Jen O, except I don’t actually write letters. Instead, I think of what they would say. I sit, and I ponder. I think; “whoa, now that would really burn their keisters”.

    I deliberate, take notes (mentally) and grumble to myself.

    Near the end I get distracted by something colorful and shiny and I forget. Why can’t more American just do it like this?

    We’d get the same results, I bet. 😉

    • dufmanno

      You know, I actually feel quite badly because they are really passionate and cleary want to be heard but like I said, none if it seems to make much difference.
      You do get the occasional flat out brawl between equally crazy people on opposite sides of the same issue but DC’s finest are usually there with tear gas and billy clubs so it doesn’t go too haywire.
      I just want that great metered spot to open up again along with no detours from closed streets.

  3. I’ve been living in the US as a Canadian ex-pat long enough to have discovered a GREAT way to amalgamate both the writing of angry letters and the going outside to protest.

    When something pisses me off, I write the angry letter, and then go outside fold it into a paper airplane and fly it in the general direction of DC.

    Really, it’s the only acceptable solution.

    • dufmanno

      I was wondering where all those freaking airplanes were coming from.
      Were yours the ones with the pictures of the fire arms or the middle fingers on them?

  4. I equate all protesting to those that try out for American Idol, knowing full well that they aren’t going to make the cut… but still trying to make an ass out of themselves in an effort to gain notoriety, for being an ass. But then I just turn a blind eye and lose myself in what really matters… America’s Next Top Model.
    Wait, was this an actual discussion I walked into?
    Wag the Dog.

    • dufmanno

      I went on a marathon jag of ANTM the other day and could NOT walk away.
      DC residents aren’t allowed to really have an opinion on politics since we aren’t a state. If we try, some angry guy in a dark suit hits us with a blowdart and we wake up days later with very little memory of what transpired.

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