Free Skate

I’m just now back from an afternoon full of ice skating.

There are a few things I’d like to discuss.

People who have no control over their body movements to start with should not pretend to possess mad skills on the rink by renting hockey skates and barreling out of control at three thousand miles per hour mowing down beginners and children.

Groups of teenagers should not be permitted to hold hands as some sort of social ritual forming a human line that cannot be penetrated by others trying to skate by.

You must skate in the same direction as everyone else.

People who are newly in love should compare skating abilities before hitting the rink. Saw many mismatched levels that caused unwarranted anxiety and bruised egos and asses.

Skating couples that are large on ability shouldn’t be allowed to make out on the ice oblivious to everything around them.

There is nothing more terrifying than the sound of a six-foot four man hitting the ice after a wipeout.

Figure skaters are surly and frightening.

Hockey players  are awesome.

The smell of rental skates never comes off.

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10 Comments

Filed under 1, afternoon time wasters, ice skating, random observations, things I saw on the rink

10 responses to “Free Skate

  1. My girls went skating three times this week, three hours each time and your skating rink is SO much nicer than ours!

    Sadie at heyMamas

    • dufmanno

      It’s actually me that drags them. I just happen to have one that really likes it and doesn’t complain endlessly about ankle pain.
      I grew up in upstate NY and went ice skating every weekend at Bear Mountain State Park because picking your nose was not a viable social alternative.

  2. Every single one of those statements goes for the Roller Skating rink too!

    • dufmanno

      I can imagine. I’m still full of envy regarding your roller skillz and kick ass team approach.
      Do you guys travel to compete or do you stay local?

  3. I know this is going to shock the ever lovin’ hell right out of you, but I don’t like ice skating. It involves ice. ICE. Ice should only ever be found in tall glasses filled with tasty beverages..and probably in morgues.

    • dufmanno

      Do they still use ice? I thought they had some sort of uber science fiction freezer technique. Well, anyway I like crushed ice in my drinks. It gives them a frothy otherwordly feel.

  4. avapidblonde

    The smell of rental skates…EW!

    I also grew up in upstate ny…dutchess county. Hah, small world.

    • dufmanno

      I’m a rockin’ Rockland County girl myself. You can take the girl out of New York but you can’t take the NY out of the girl.

  5. Also: do not have a birthday party AT an ice skating rink when you’re from the South and have no idea what you’re doing. Read: massive wipeout resulting in blackish hip bruise as a personal gift to self.

    True story.

    • dufmanno

      Sorry about your hip. That’s why I always try to land on my very well padded ass despite the ego bruise that I always get from the snickering local teens & my own kids.

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