I’m not insightful enough to be a critic, I just know when something hits me on a gut level causing either great joy or pain. Sort of like an amoeba or a jellyfish I guess. Being a very basic organism helps lower expectations and keeps the blues at bay because lets face it, food, water and continuing to survive are really all you need to keep on truckin’.
Every once in a while however, something comes along that is so wonderful that it inspires me to lift my head from the primordial ooze and take notice. Usually these things are shiny and do awe-inspiring magic tricks but sometimes the sparkles and disco ball aren’t required to keep me interested. Here is such a thing.
Behold the future.
I guess you could say that they are shiny and they do awe- inspiring tricks but that would just negate the entire previous paragraph so I don’t want to do that. Let’s just agree that these future members of my family minions are going to help me get a handle on my world and then subsequently rock it.
Oh John Connor. I loved you and I even came close to heeding the ghostly warnings you sent back with Kyle Reese for Sarah but I think you were wrong. Do you see malice in the smiling face of Asimo? No. You don’t do you? He wants to serve you a drink and cuddle up on the couch to watch American Idol together not terminate your yet to be knocked up mother. He and his friends are here to help us! Look at Roomba. All he wants to do is suck up all the shit your messy ass leaves in its wake. Does he want thanks? A pat on the head? NO!
I see the future through glasses far more rose-colored than Connor and Reese. In my world determined cyborgs don’t use high-capacity fire arms to attempt to snuff out humanity.( Nor do beloved future resistance leaders send blindingly hot freedom fighters through the time displacement equipment to seduce and have hot sex with mediocre waitresses but that’s a rant for another day). My metal and plastic friends clean my house, wipe my ass, escort me to the fridge and play music. I salute these benign helpful worker bees and plan on using as many as I can afford to run my household. That way when my husband programs them to become self-aware and they stage a bloody coup it will be over quickly and painlessly with me none the wiser.