This is for Elly, http://bugginword.com who got my brain spinning this evening with talk of priceless chotchkies breaking and weird things around the house.
Meet the hairy monkey.
He has been around collecting dust on what appears to be hair from a sacrificial “real” monkey that stays mysteriously glued to his body. Even though I can’t see any sort of adhesive besides the pure sticking power of evil that comes from him in waves, it just freaking stays on. Once I tried to tip him over and break him hoping that he would make a trip to the dumpster and get stolen by some unwitting crack whore but he proved indestructible like most things that have been shellacked by satan.
He belongs to my husband who clearly is under his influence on days where I find him annoying and clearly doing the monkeys bidding. Once I thought I saw the hairy monkey move, and on another occasion I found one of the kids talking to him. Since that proved a bit too Son of Sam for me, I banished the monkey to the lower floor of the house where he has sat plotting his revenge for the last couple of years.
I dare not throw him out at this point because you just KNOW that even if I drive him to Miami and drop him in the ocean , tomorrow I will hear a knock at the door and there he will be. Accompanied by a terrifying soundtrack.
Thank you Elly for my new nightmare.