Betterment

Listen up guys, I have this crazy idea!

When I’ m not out communing with  and befriending various woodland creatures  I often find myself helping others to become awesome. This usually involves me giving  poor advice to young children (my own) or making ill-advised suggestions to gullible friends who follow my lead down a path that’s littered with discarded dreams and dead bodies.  In reality, my unsolicited ramblings haven’t caused anyone’s demise just yet, but the sprinkling of  these nuggets  are like sugar laced with arsenic. So sweet and funny upon first taste but proving more and more deadly when consumed in larger quantities. No one likes a ding bat and everyone hates an idiot.

I’ve doled out so much potentially harmful misinformation over the years that my friends refer to me as a human encyclopedia of non facts. That’s why I’ve decided that from now on it’s time to think before I speak and actually use Websters (or at least Google) to see if words actually exist before I use them. My plan is to try to become a somewhat respected  adult  type person before the dawn of 2011. That way, when the world explodes into a fiery nightmare and the horsemen of the apocalypse are riding at full clip down your block in 2012, I will be better prepared to say I wasn’t a complete waste of time and space.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under 1, bad ideas, book of non facts, me dumb you smart, non facts

4 responses to “Betterment

  1. The Last Post

    For what it’s worth I like you and your blog just as you are 🙂

  2. BORED. I want faux words and non facts, DAMNIT! I’ve based my whole life on liking things that aren’t good for me. Don’t go messing with my system.

    Besides, all the Disney Princesses are closet huffers.

  3. dufmanno

    I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who thinks there are additional “behind the music” type skeletons waiting to spill out of the wardrobes of various mouse whores. Before Disney thugs ride over to put a cap in my ass, I’d like to let them know I’ve spent nearly twenty thousand dollars over one lifetime riding teacups and singing with multicultural dolls at their theme parks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s