The Great Interview Experiment

Sometimes, I like to pretend that if I surround myself with enough talented and super cool people I will then be able ,through osmosis, to move up a few rungs on the ladder of what is right and good in this world. As if by hanging from the pant leg or grabbing the well hemmed skirts of those that rock, their greatness might waft over me and lift me out of this pit I’m usually mired in.
Well folks, guess what? IT WORKS! The method may prove ineffective for those slightly more pathetic than me, but I’ve deluded myself into thinking that basking in the glow of those that are truly talented makes me great too! Now take off your rose-colored glasses and get ready to see that people who matter really do have something to do with me.
I recently received the VERY good news that I would be interviewing  Ryan “Ry”  M. Sal for the great interview experiment (www.citizenofthemonth.com/tag/great-interview-experiment) . Her blog www.forthebirdsblog.com  is one of my all time favorites and I think with better breeding, more talent and a few more years of education I could have actually BEEN her. Just kidding. This gal is one of a kind and I was HONORED to be able to pose some questions of my own to her. And, by the way, she actually took time out of her VERY busy schedule and answered me without calling security!

So strap yourselves in, here  it is………………………..

Are you ever creeped out by the level of interest that anonymous strangers have in you? I mean, these could all be Dexter type mouth breathers shut away in a scary basement posing as upstanding citizens, or happy bloggers.

Can you hold on a sec? I am just deleting my online presence.

No really, it has occurred to me, but I don’t think I care. But I do care… but I don’t. But yes I do. I guess it will really hit home when the mouth breather shows up on my doorstep – and that’s not an invitation.  

 Oops, too late. We are already on our way. Honestly, I don’t ever breathe out of my mouth.

I think that you and like 4 other people read For the Birds – come on over.

Let’s say the world economy has collapsed and we’ve reverted to the barter system until things start looking up. What is your new primitive occupation and why?

Umm.. I thought that already happened and that’s why I started blogging for fractions of pennies.

Wait, you can get paid for this? For the record you should know that my new occupation is going to be “Blacksmith”. It sounds more important when I put it in quotes.

“Parent” sounds better with quotes too.

Bad boy rocker, brooding intellectual or sweet but slightly befuddled jock. Who do you choose and for what reason?

Can I mash them all into one? Because I’ve tested them out and each character type alone annoys the daylights out of me… Combined, however, you get the perfect mix of crazy, smart and sporty… just enough to counterbalance the wasteoid, intellectual snob, and blockheadedness. 

  Huh. The combination of all three never even occurred to me, but you are completely right.  Are you aware that you have inadvertently created the perfect man? Frankenboyfriend. No bolts though.

UGH—oh well. Perfection annoys me too.

Your house is engulfed in flames (thank you David Sedaris). All family, friends and pets are safely outside. A brave firefighter has offered to go back and retrieve one item. What is it, and where is it located? (By the way I would NEVER want for this to happen)

And, YES, that would be me watching the blaze with that crazed Cheshire Cat smile on my face. BURN BURN BURN! I guess if it has to be one thing… my computer system’s backup backup server… it has a lifetime of work, scanned and digital family pics… but it’s upstairs and hard to get to.

 Wait, why are you smiling in this case scenario again?

I’ve always been envious about the sudden loss of everything material. My stuff hates me.

You can put down roots anywhere in the world and your travel and moving expenses will be covered by the imaginary “man”. Where would you go and why?

Putting roots down is a tough one for me. I get the itch to move every 7 years or so… I’ve been in my current location longer than that which is making me slightly nutty. I would probably stick to the East Coast… stay in the US of A, because anything foreign would require too much reevaluation of everything. Oh, and it has to be on the water… like the ocean. A big lake won’t cut it. Savannah, maybe – coastal, coolness, warmth… southern accents… arty.  

 I can say without a doubt that I can imagine you (and I have to imagine you because I have never met the “physical” you) residing and thriving in Savannah. You also probably need to start an alternative rock band while there. Not sure why.

I have so many responses to this… I don’t know where to start…

What would YOU have done to Tiger Woods? (Don’t hold back, we know there is nothing like a NY style smack down. Sweden’s got nothing on us)

In the immortal words of Miss Amanda Jones (Some Kind of Wonderful) “I can’t do anything to him that he hasn’t already done to himself.”

I would have taken his 9-Iron and chased after him in his skivvies at 2AM – eventually busting out the back windows of his SUV… but I would have called TMZ first and had them camped out on the lawn…. Then I would go into seclusion whilst draining his bank accounts… watching as popular culture slowly rips his limbs off one by one. I’d say Sweden’s doin’ alright for herself about now. 

 I think I may have underestimated Sweden.

Let’s say Pixar is developing a new computer animated masterpiece and they want your input on a female character.  John Lasseter says she should have some of your physical attributes and many of your more outstanding personality traits. What does she look like and what are her strengths and weaknesses?

She’s a complete bitch.

And super hot too.

When I read your All About page it immediately freaked me out since you have some serious professional experience. Now that I’m intimidated by you, I have to ask about what you are most proud of professionally? (You’ve got some serious chops. All I’ve ever produced is offspring)

Ha.

Don’t be fooled by the shiny veneer…

Someone should have taken away my license to work the day I picked up my first paper route in 7th grade. Workaholic I define… But unfortunately, my professional ego has gotten me into more fixes than I count.  I am most proud of my ability to design under pressure and remain creative in the face of great insanity, corrupt business partner(s), gangsters and lunatics that have tried to ruin my life. Offspring are far more impressive.

 Insanity, corruption and gangsters? That’s like a movie plot, I knew you were hardcore!

It’s unbelievably insane… I’m sure I’ll BLOG about it eventually.

 

Picture the ultimate vacation. Now, where are you and how long are you staying?

Oh at a resort… Somewhere warm and practically deserted—aside from the staff. The staff that checks in on us occasionally and holds no grudge against our simple demands…  With clean beaches where my son can play and shaded areas where my dog can nap and calm waters where my husband can fly fish… while I finally toss my iphone into the water and relax… for two weeks.

Your blog makes me feel like I’m reading the musings of a close friend while wrapped in a snuggie   sipping hot cocoa. What blogs do you enjoy on a daily basis, and would you recommend them to other readers?

You have a Snuggie?

I wish I had more time to read blogs, but I don’t—And there is so much great stuff out there! I started off focusing on design and art blogs, which was the initial intention of For the Birds, but once I started getting into the more personal stuff I realized that there is an enormous amount STUFF going on. It’s all very exciting and I’m waiting for some sort of pinnacle in the evolution.

Honestly, if you read my blog, I dedicate myself to subscribing and reading yours. 

 My Snuggie is my secret shame. Don’t judge me.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they look back and wonder if they made the right choice during a pivotal moment. Do you have one of those life altering points in time that potentially changed the course of your life? If so, are you happy with the path you ended up on?

Deciding to become my own boss. It was the best and worst thing that I could have done to my family and myself. It was, and still is, unbelievably selfish while at the same time opened us up to free time management and new experiences—Although when I look back, I could have saved a huge amount of money and time if I had just remained an employee.   

 No, no, no. Live free or die! You make me want to start a revolution and work for the worst boss in the entire world. Myself.

 

Let’s say you are doing some top-secret research for the government and you are accidentally hit with a super gamma ray thereby exposing you to large doses of superpower creating energy. By some strange twist of fate you have three minutes to choose the three powers you will now possess.  You can also choose your new superhero moniker and your costume. What do you look like and what kind of cool things can you do?

  1. Time Travel as well as Distance Travel by wishing where I (and whomever is holding my hand) want to be.
  2. Produce money by clicking my heels
  3. Heal sick, dying and allergic conditions – including mental illnesses and addictions by simply wishing it so.

 

I can do without the moniker and costume so that I remain anonymous … I’m also a complete bitch. And super hot too.

Excluding family, friends and pets, what is the one thing on earth you would have a really hard time living without?

Oxygen

 

What is your all time favorite movie?

The Thomas Crown Affair

Do you have a band or song that you secretly love, but would never publicly admit to even knowing about? (just to help you along on this one, I have an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Duran Duran and do a little “white man’s overbite” type of dance every time I hear them even thought I pretend they are horrible)

I really like T-Pain. No – there really aren’t any music secrets with me… I’m a huge geek and tend to listen to whatevs without questioning who or what. I used to be nutty about bands and would go to as many shows as possible… our CD collection has everything you can imagine.

 Ooohh, I bet you would have made an even better groupie than me. We love the music!

If you are going out for the evening do you typically go for the jeans and sweater ensemble or are you the type who heads right for the clothes that “hurt” (heels, itchy pointy fabrics, tight fitting, must be dry cleaned)?

Jeans & sweater with heels.

I haven’t felt my feet for years.

 Meow girl. Nice combo of comfort & pain.

Yeah, well, I’m Catholic.

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14 Comments

Filed under 1, blogs I love, funny ha ha, great interview experiment, interviews, people who are better than me

14 responses to “The Great Interview Experiment

  1. The Last Post

    Love the interview, you should have your own chat show.

    I have actually spent the last few minutes trying to think of a really witty comment but the above is all I could manage.

    Oh I must tell you this, I have found out where I can buy a snuggie in the uk. I am so excited.

  2. dufmanno

    The interview was easy because my subject is a clearly a Catholic goddess of rock. Anyone who wore the jumper and kneesocks knows how to negotiate the hard questions while keeping a sense of humor. The nuns taught us well.
    So glad you’ve located the Snuggie. Be careful though, it sneaks up on you and becomes part of your “acceptable” wardrobe.

  3. just gave you a little plug at the end of today’s post…

    • dufmanno

      Another reason why you are on everyone’s favorite list. That, and I don’t normally get like nine million hits a day, so you need to come over and make more appearances to boost my self esteem and let me rub shoulders with the glitterati more often.
      Sheesh, people REALLY like you.

  4. I was told by Sandy to come check out your blog because you are a fellow Snuggie lover (strange introduction…) but I am already in love with your blog! This interview is absolutely hilarious and I agree you should have your own talk show! I am going to start following your blog; come check mine out (even though this is only day two) if you ever get a chance!

  5. dufmanno

    I came to visit and I even left you a comment that might have been a little too weird. Sorry for that.
    You had me at The Knights Who Say “Nee”. Now you’ll never get rid of me!

  6. Haha definitely not weird… What about blogging ISN’T weird? I’m loving all the love!

  7. Giggle. I always knew she was a complete bitch and super hot. Reading this interview was like getting peanut butter in my chocolate…but all sexy and pre-packaged like a gourmet peanut butter cup. Shit, I’m hungry.

    • dufmanno

      I know. I still have a great visual of her kicking ass ninja style with heels and a very stylish cape.
      Peanut butter cups come in gourmet style? If that is true, I’m putting down this Reece’s and going on a mission.

  8. Go go super Catholics!

    Nice interview. You should do it as a podcast. You know, for the lazy among us.

    I look forward to your next interview. I hope it’s Sarah Palin!

    Peace,
    Shannon

  9. dufmanno

    Thanks! Not sure if I’d be any good with political questions though. Personally, I’m what they call a lapsed Catholic. Due to excessive childhood exposure to angry ruler wielding nuns and itchy uniforms I’ve tried to stay away.

    • Hey, you’re talking to a lapsed Catholic. Although, I like refer to myself as Reform Catholic, like how Reform Judaism is like Judaism without the orthodoxy. It’s still a part of my identity, but I don’t let it rule me any more.

      Peace,
      Shannon

  10. I’m doing the Great Interview Experiment too– I just have no idea what questions to ask! Strange that I would be so nervous about it… I think it’s because I am going to hold myself up to THIS awesomeness… guaranteed FAIL.

    • dufmanno

      Hell Yeah! I had a blast and found out a few things along the way. You will LOVE it, trust me. Now where have I heard THAT one before?

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