True Evil

No one likes puppets. Don’t even pretend like there was a carefree whimsical time in your life when you didn’t realize these heinous soul stealing devils were out to get you because everyone knows how untrustworthy and creepy they are. Even infants and the limited resources they are working with know to break into screams when Lady Elaine pops up like a serial killer from behind the castle in the land of make-believe. It takes at LEAST five minutes for Mr. Rogers and his soothing voice to quiet the shrieks.

AHHHHH Shit!!!!!!

Never liked her or the confusing merry-go-round thing she rode in that was attached to the castle.

This wasn’t the only show I watched that made me uncomfortable and sad as a kid. Who decided that H.R. Puff n’ Stuff was a good idea? I actually had a horrifying nightmare as a small child that I remember with amazing clarity to THIS day because of this show and too many trips to McDonald’s. In it, the characters from HRPNS along with Mayor McCheese and the Hamburgler stepped out of the woods on the edge of our property and began the slow zombie like lurch/walk toward our house to kill us. At least I assumed this was their intent as they all had furrowed brows and angry eyes. I tried repeatedly to get my mothers help to ward them off and save our family, but she kept shooing me away and telling me I was crazy until they starting banging on the door and smashing in the windows. Vivid and terrifying.

Don't kill me!

Everywhere they go, puppets make people unhappy. The exception to this rule is any variety of muppet (think Sesame Street, the Muppet Show and occasionally Fraggle Rock) that works hard to deliver one liners and teach drooling kids the alphabet.

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8 Comments

Filed under 1, fear, hr puff n stuff, lady elaine is horrible, scary puppets

8 responses to “True Evil

  1. Puppets are horrid abominations. Even the word “puppet” sounds nasty as it rolls off the tongue. Ugh. Hate puppets almost as much as I loathe clowns. If I see a clown I will turn around and walk in the other direction and I don’t care where I’m headed; anywhere but in the path of a clown. When I was very small some lady whose name I can’t recall had a tv show w/a puppet called Lambchop and it sickened me – I have never eaten lamb since childhood. See? Puppets=neurosis. Point made.

    • dufmanno

      Shudder. Clowns, puppets, the whole lot freak me out. I have never understood why adults thought this was a great way to entertain kids. The sheer number of children running away during birthday party shows containing either should have been a pretty good indicator. Yet, we continute to book Floopy the clown and The Puppet Company to entertain the tots. I did it myself!

  2. The Last Post

    I am very much with you on this one, don’t even get me started on Punch & Judy, they really do belong to the world of nightmares.

    I find clowns scary too, I saw a film some time ago (cannot remember the title) but it was about this clown who terrorised a town and ended up turning into a giant spider – now that was weird.

    Have you ever seen Sooty and Sweep? I went to a Christmas show with my sister and niece last week and they were two little dog puppets. They were really sweet, they used to have a show on the television. Why can’t all puppets be like Sooty and Sweep?

    Oh thank you for visiting my blog and for your lovely comments.

    Best Wishes,
    Sandy.

    • dufmanno

      Sooty and Sweep sound like another exception to the rule. That is a train I can get on board and ride happily. How about that horror combo of the clown puppet (remember Poltergiest?)? It dragged Robbie under the bed and tried to kill him! You know that would happen in real life if you had a clown puppet in your bedroom.

  3. Jim Henson was my favorite person to have ever walked the planet earth. That’s awfully bold. Well he’s definitely in my top 20. Regardless, I’m now going to go watch Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas to get in the holiday mood.

    I think you’re my new bad habit…

  4. dufmanno

    Awww. Jim Henson rocked as did his floppy multicolored creations. I haven’t seen Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Christmas in YEARS! Nostalgia here I come.

  5. Pingback: Van Gogh Says « Dufmanno’s Blog

  6. Holy Sh!t !!! I was terrified by Witchy Poo as a kid. And that little piccolo thing gave me the willies. What ACID tripping boomer, hippie thought a show about a child being kidnapped away from his family was appropriate for pre-school children? JFC! I should be sending my Therapist bills to Sid an Marty & Kroftt!

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