The Boy With The Thorn in His Side

Today as I typed the rear left leg of my old wooden dining room chair fell right off. Usually this would give me great pause and get me thinking about a new diet regime but I fiercely pushed through and kept all my weight balanced on the remaining three legs just to finish this post. It’s that important to me.

Lately, I’ve sounded like a  broken record with the needle stuck in the same endless groove over and over with regards to the all too briefly re formed 80’s band The Police and my being so entirely gutted about missing this delightful surprise reunion.  I know that  I promised to shut up and get on with it but  after they disappeared I suffered through the rest of the 80’s enduring the stylings of hair metal bands with their  power ballads along with a brief but tempestuous fling with Duran Duran. It just didn’t measure up. It was like having dated the most promising, intelligent, gorgeous guy on campus and after he evaporated into thin air with no explanation or note , taking up with his vapid dim-witted ugly little brother. The Police took their greatness and ran really fast in the opposite direction into the darkness.

Good bye Kelly! You'll never see us again- CHA!

Now I’m seeing Sting everywhere with the release of his new album. You’ve got to give the guy props for the media blitz he’s on to promote this thing, but when I stumble upon him it makes me a little sad. It’s like he’s missing two very necessary appendages. I know Sting is fussy, cranky and all too consumed with his success apart from the band, but how can you not realize that your best work came about as a result of the beautiful tension you had with your former mates?
Yes, it’s great to realize your singular vision in a room full of musicians who are there  to follow your lead and  flesh out your songs with no arguments,wrestling matches or fistfights. But where is the conflict and agitation? That’s half the fun.
Magical combinations, good timing and fantastic contacts are hard to come by in today’s music business. Imagine how many bands were propelled into greatness by the fairy dust spewing Copeland brothers (Miles and Ian) along with the Police in a trajectory that landed them all in the front trenches?
Paying homage to  humble beginnings and to the giants on whose shoulders he stood to get to the lofty heights he now finds himself at would be a good start for Sting. I, for one, would like to see him be able to speak of his old band without looking like someone just shoved a teaspoon of Cod Liver Oil in his maw. His very succesful solo career was afforded him by the rolling wave of world domination he rode from  the late 70’s into the early 80’s.
That is not to take anything away from his solo work which I do enjoy (okay the lute album wasn’t my favorite). He takes risks, some work out better than others but it’s clear he has devoted himself to pushing the envelope and doing exactly the opposite of what people would expect of him.  I like Sting, he’s easy on the eyes , he has that dark brooding quality I seem to find attractive and don’t even get me started about the beard. There is nothing better than a face full of dangerous looking mountain man growth paired with a rugged wool sweater.

I told you. Nothing better than the beard/wool sweater combo.

Foolishly rhapsodizing about a time frame when I sported a full mouth of metal and Sasson jeans was fun for a while , but I mostly mourn for the music that could have been. I think The Police had a least a few more good albums in them and could have reunited after they had cooled their jets for a few years in the solo world. Alas, it didn’t materialize. Sting, Stewart and Andy’s cold indifference to my needs hurt but I realized I was going to stay on tenterhooks for the rest of my life if I sat around hoping they would work it out. I just want Sting to get that warm familiar feeling that I always have when I hear a track from one of their albums or a mention of  one of their names in the headlines. Perhaps they didn’t exactly part in the rosy glow of eternal friendship but how long can they remain a thorn in the side of Gordon Sumner?

So, to sum up. I miss the fearsome threesome. I actually have a thing for Stewart but I do hold Sting in high regard. I spent ten minutes asking someone if I had used tenderhooks incorrectly all these years when in fact the correct phrase is tenterhooks. I should have just said waiting anxiously. I just want Sting to be happy, is that so bad?

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2 Comments

Filed under 1, andy summers, shutting up, solo careers, stewart copeland, sting, surly mr. sumner, the police

2 responses to “The Boy With The Thorn in His Side

  1. “I actually have a thing for Stewart” – understatement of the year!

  2. dufmanno

    Don’t we all have a little something for that guy? What is it about him that everyone finds endlessly appealing? I swear I may as well be dressed in my 6th grade uniform jumping up and down with my Regatta de Blanc record. The staying power must be from how truly hardcore he is.

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