Gutless Wonder Attempts Heroic Measure

meanladies

Man up!

This is a call to arms for all the passive weaklings out there. Now you too can deliver an astounding sucker punch to the viscous harpy who enjoys repeated hatchet jobs on your psyche! It’s time to strengthen your resolve and take down this loathsome malcontent with one swift kick to the solar plexus. No longer will her talons of death be firmly embedded in your back while you valiantly try to carry on as if nothing is happening to you. After spending some time struggling with the best approach, you may feel like you just want to turn and flee but don’t. Open fire on her with the ferocity and rapid pace of the Terminators semi automatic rifle. Maybe the impact of the verbal onslaught will be enough to render her speechless for the duration of the candid ( and WAY to verbose) portion of the confrontation.
What do you mean the opener didn’t pack as much punch as you anticipated and she remained able to volley for the duration? What is that you say? She gave you a whole new list of shortcomings AND recommended a psychiatric evaluation while remaining calm and collected?
What a freaking let down! Talk about the deterioration of a dream. Where were the swinging fists and unhinged brutality? Now I have to spend the rest of my day eating pistachios and wondering how I could have gotten it so wrong. I’ll have to burn off all my surplus fighting endorphins throwing the discarded shells at a squirrel with too much bravado. Take that! Bushy tailed vermin.
You know what? I’ve  thought this whole thing over and now I understand that revenge is a dish best served cold. No more blustering and chest thumping, we need to put our heads together and hatch a machiavellian masterpiece. She won’t know what hit her until we are long gone, just like the last shot in the movies. You know, the one where the heroine is walking away smiling down a sunny L.A. street while the nemesis is drowning in despair from the revealing letter said star left for all the colleagues to see. This woman has been found out and now she wallows in the shame of the truth on display. Ha! That will teach YOU defeatee. Our newfound flair for payback has robbed you of any hope of redemption. Now hang your head in shame and slink off to that hole you crawled out of!

army_squirrel

I like this squirrel. I would never throw a nut shell at him.

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