Category Archives: I can't spell

I Wanna Know

Someone recently very kindly pointed out to me that blogs occasionally contain some personal information about the author and their daily lives. This voyeuristic quality apparently makes it fun to quietly watch them go about their business while getting a peek into their brain.

This of course was a nice but passive aggressive way to let me know that me and my life are not at all present in the things I write.

Sure, occasionally I like to fume over the mindless jaywalker who stepped into oncoming traffic while I was on the road or reveal the horrifying incident at the Chipotle that took place only hours after my young son learned that ladies did in fact have vaginas instead of wieners but for the most part I leave my day-to-day happenings at the doormat when I step over the WordPress threshold.

After so many years of working diligently to not be vulnerable, needy or a pain in somebody elses ass, I’d almost forgotten how brilliant it is to see a person write something stripped down and bare enough that it makes them look completely human.

I’m not exactly sure when vulnerability and truth fell so out of fashion in my mind but there are days when all this autonomous droning about impersonal subjects and flaunting my “independence” gets tedious.

To exert so much energy in opposition to what I really feel at times is exhausting. It’s a struggle that results in exactly what I don’t want.

More isolation.Less warmth.

Since I am slow to absorb the most basic changes in routine, I’ll need to marinate in this sea of change for a few hours before I can produce a worthwhile post on the terrible new development of vagrants shitting in my garage.

Seriously. It’s either a guy without access to indoor plumbing, an urban Yeti or a bear that’s escaped from the zoo.

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Filed under a screw loose, adversity, am I doing anything right?, Back to basics, bad writing about nothing, buffoonery, crap shack, crazy ramblings, do this for me, do you really have the time to read about my life, don't destroy my dreams, don't take a crap in my garage please, excuses, foul language in preschool, getting it together, good smells bad smells, hidden grammar errors and bad writing, hole in my life, I can't spell, I can't end a story OR a blog post, I complain too much, I enjoy being inferior, i like to pretend, I need to get an original thought, I run fast, i said it was uncategorizable, I'm a hack, I'm a jerk!, I'm all over the map, make it more personal

Fireside Chat

Why hello there! Lets all pull a bearskin rug up to the fire and get comfy, shall we? 

Oh my goodness, I feel so much better after nearly coming unglued from back to back snow in’s and confining illnesses! They’ve given me my shot of joy juice, patted me on the head and assured me that all troubles will cease from here on in. Hear that? It was my sigh of artificially induced relief. 

It’s been a terrible week with all the vomiting and fevers I’ve had to deal with but I’m finally feeling the weight lift as I see the munchkins run off toward the school building. Things are righting themselves in  natural order as it all falls into place. As Tangina from the 80′s classic horror flick Poltergeist says “this house is clean”. Okay, she didn’t mean free from puke and germs but you get the basic idea. 

Here’s a little visual prompt for you. 

Never have a clown in your room fool.

Now that I’ve happily settled into my Monday morning routine I’m clearly benefitting from all of this peace and quiet so let’s chat shall we? 

How have you been? No problems bearing down on you I hope! Next week marks the one year anniversary of this little blog. Strangely it was born while our entire family was under quarantine here in our home after the kid’s school had the distinction of becoming the first to close from a swine flu outbreak. 

H1N1 helped birth this little project so I would be silly not to thank her.  She didn’t wreak the kind of havoc I was anticipating (I had gas masks, buckets of bleach and a power hose just in case) but she did cause enough strife to push a woman on the brink of mind numbing boredom to get acquainted with WordPress. 

It seems fitting that the one year mark falls just as my Stockholm syndrome has dissipated and we have exited the house after yet another stretch of confinement.

So here’s to one year of spewing unfiltered drivel with limited editing for all the world (or at least three people) to see. I’m glad I got all of that shit off my chest.

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Filed under anniversaries, fireside chats, h1n1, I can't spell, I don't have a fireplace anymore, I feel much better