Remember that whole post below where I ranted and raved like an unhinged lunatic about how worthless sea monkeys were?
Well, I need to print a retraction because……they’re ALIVE.
This morning, tiny sea monkeys were swimming all around the tank.
Are they impressive?
Do they have crowns, spears, smiling faces?
But they are alive.
Cue gentle music..
Perhaps in the end, the sea monkeys had a lesson to teach me. That lesson, I think, was something about patience.
But I’m not really sure. Whatever.
In other news, my mother’s entire existence as a fear mongering worry wart that spreads dreadful statistics and nightmarish news clippings was validated this weekend when her own grandson fell victim to the “untied shoe lace caught in the escalator” case scenario.
She has been waiting for this since they installed escalators in the Nanuet Mall in the 70′s.
She would make us stop, tie our shoe laces make sure we jumped clear of the jaws of metal death at the bottom where you could apparently have your entire leg shredded by this receptacle of doom.
If you were dumb enough to bend down to try to free your leg that was being torn off by the metal teeth would surely have your long hair ensnared in no time.
Then it would crush your head and eat your brain.
What a shredded hamburger like mess.
When they came to take you away and slopped all your bits and parts that remained onto the stretcher they would commiserate with your mother.
“NEVER get on an escalator with an untied shoe.”
“I TOLD her a THOUSAND TIMES!”
For the record, my son (her grandson) gave a tug and his shoelace came right out.
According to my mother, he barely survived.