I Wanna Know

Someone recently very kindly pointed out to me that blogs occasionally contain some personal information about the author and their daily lives. This voyeuristic quality apparently makes it fun to quietly watch them go about their business while getting a peek into their brain.

This of course was a nice but passive aggressive way to let me know that me and my life are not at all present in the things I write.

Sure, occasionally I like to fume over the mindless jaywalker who stepped into oncoming traffic while I was on the road or reveal the horrifying incident at the Chipotle that took place only hours after my young son learned that ladies did in fact have vaginas instead of wieners but for the most part I leave my day-to-day happenings at the doormat when I step over the WordPress threshold.

After so many years of working diligently to not be vulnerable, needy or a pain in somebody elses ass, I’d almost forgotten how brilliant it is to see a person write something stripped down and bare enough that it makes them look completely human.

I’m not exactly sure when vulnerability and truth fell so out of fashion in my mind but there are days when all this autonomous droning about impersonal subjects and flaunting my “independence” gets tedious.

To exert so much energy in opposition to what I really feel at times is exhausting. It’s a struggle that results in exactly what I don’t want.

More isolation.Less warmth.

Since I am slow to absorb the most basic changes in routine, I’ll need to marinate in this sea of change for a few hours before I can produce a worthwhile post on the terrible new development of vagrants shitting in my garage.

Seriously. It’s either a guy without access to indoor plumbing, an urban Yeti or a bear that’s escaped from the zoo.

A Girl Really Should Know Her Limitations

I would like to say that my recent meager output was due to an excessively satisfying personal and professional life that left no time for writing this drivel but that would leave out the part where every event sidled right up and sucked balls for the better part of five days.

As a matter of fact since we are being so candid here I’d venture a guess that I’m very close to some sort of midlife existential crisis that needs tending to except  I’m more than likely to let it fester and rot before springing into anything that even remotely resembles action.

If you see me flailing around your neighborhood wearing an overcoat and thermal underwear in the unseasonably warm weather be kind to me and don’t throw things because I’ll probably be back to normal in three to five days and I bruise easily.

Plus you don’t want to explain to put together, capable me that in a fit of distemper you mistook your friend for an unhinged vagrant and tossed potentially lethal projectiles at her. That just makes YOU look like a huge asshole.

Not nice.